Seinfeld's Last Stand

1. Monica Lewinski vs. Hillary Clinton 2. Mariah Carey vs. Jim Carrey 3. Jerry Seinfeld vs. Tim Allen This was the first halfhour episode of Celebrity Deathmatch. Fight Summary: 1 - Monica Lewinski vs. Hillary Clinton The two ladies fight for a while. Bill Clinton sits in the audience, cheering both ladies. He is interviewed by Stacy Cornbred and Bill calls for the peanut lady, however the line ""Excuse me miss, would you mind grabbing my nuts"" were misunderstood by everyone and Monica and Hillary decides to beat up Bill, who leaves, and the fight ends so. 2 - Mariah Carey vs. Jim Carrey Jim grabs Mariah in a chokehold, but she breaks through and starts singing a very high note, which blows up Jim Carrey's skull. 3 - Jerry Seinfeld vs. Tim Allen These guys fight as wusses, so everyone gets bored, and Jerry's co-stars from ""Seinfeld"" - Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michael Richards climbs into the ring and they decide to kick Jerry's ass. However they run out of time

Where is Stallone?

1. Oprah Winfrey vs. Rosie O'Donnell 2. Liam Gallagher vs. Noel Gallagher 3. Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Sylvester Stallone First episode with 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin. He helps Nick & Johnny comment the fights. Fight Summary: 1 - Oprah Winfrey vs. Rosie O'Donnell Oprah and Rosie fight for a while, but then Jerry Springer parachutes into the ring and knocks both ladies out. However the three of them decides to fight later... to be continued. 2 - Liam Gallagher vs. Noel Gallagher The fight is interrupted when the comedian Gallagher appears, jumps into the ring and smashes Liam's and Noel's heads, so both of them dies. 3 - Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Sylvester Stallone Arnold blows up Sylvester with a missile, but he melts and re-appears like the terminator, and then Arnold and Sylvester knocks each other out, Mills starts counting, and Arnold manages to stand up again, but Sylvester sweeps his leg on '9', stands up and Sylvester Stallone is declared the winner, although Arnold is

The Mystery of the Loch Ness Monster

1. Loch Ness Monster vs. Bigfoot 2. Mick Jagger vs. Steven Tyler 3. Jay Leno vs. David Letterman Fight Summary: 1 - Loch Ness Monster vs. Bigfoot This was supposed to be the best fight ever, but The Loch Ness Monster quickly slices Bigfoot into half, and wins, however the audience gets really pissed and the Loch Ness Monster jumps out off the ring, grabs Fran Drescher who was in the audience, and then escapes from the arena... Stone Cold discovers that the Loch Ness Monster's mating call was as annoying as Fran Drescher's voice... so thats why the monster ran. 2 - Mick Jagger vs. Steven Tyler Mick Jagger impales Steven Tyler with his gigantic tongue. 3 - Jay Leno vs. David Letterman The fighters fight for a while in an arena sealed off with an electric fence, but then the Loch Ness Monster returns, and runs into the fence, and is blown up and crashes down on the fighters.

Celebrity Deathmatch Goes to the Movies

1. Gene Siskel vs. Roger Ebert 2. Jerry Lewis vs. Dean Martin 3. Quentin Tarantino vs. Spike Lee Fight Summary: 1 - Gene Siskel vs. Roger Ebert Gene and Roger was forced to fight with their thumbs tied together, Gene Siskel started spinning around, so Roger Ebert is spun around in the air, finally Gene breaks Roger's thumb off so Roger Ebert is sent flying into the announcer's booth, which collapses on him, but Nick accidently falls out of the tower, and falls into a coma... 2 - Jerry Lewis vs. Dean Martin Since Nick was in a coma, Johnny decided to show a clip, which was this fight. The fight ended with Jerry Lewis spilling one of Dean Martin's drinks, Dean gets pissed off and kicks Jerry out off the ring, and the fight ends so. 3 - Quentin Tarantino vs. Spike Lee Woody Allen guest refers this fight, but he just gets in the way of the fighters, finally he gets really pissed and knocks down Spike Lee (not killing him though), and then he rips out Quentin's intestance.

Nick in a Coma

1. Janeane Garofalo vs. Cindy Crawford 2. Elvis Presley vs. Jerry Garcia 3. Rosie O'Donnell vs. Oprah Winfrey vs. Jerry Springer In this episode, Johnny gets help from Jack Nicholson to comment the fights since Nick is in a coma. In the end of the episode, Leonardo DiCaprio appears and challenges Jack Nicholson for a fight, this fight occurs in 108. Fight Summary: 1 - Janeane Garofalo vs. Cindy Crawford Cindy and Janeane made a bet just before the fight - If Cindy won, Janeane had to lose 50 pounds. If Janeane won, Cindy had to gain 50 pounds. After a while in the fight, Cindy grabs Janeane by her hair and spins her around, finally she lets go, and Janeane flies into the ropes, bounces back and knocks out Cindy, both of the fighters are disqualified, and they both lost the bet, so Janeane has to lose 50 pounds, and Cindy has to gain 50 punds... the results aren't too pretty :D 2 - Elvis Presley vs. Jerry Garcia This was a dream Nick had after being injected with loads of mo

Nick Returns

1. Fiona Apple vs. John Popper 2. Christopher Walken vs. Gary Oldman 3. Garth Brooks vs. Marilyn Manson Nick Diamond was temporarily replaced by a celebrity deathmatch co-host contest winner Lenny Stanton, However when he starts talking about replacing Nick permanently, Nick returns and kicks the little punk's ass. Fight Summary: 1 - Fiona Apple vs. John Popper Fiona tries to attack John several times, but she just ends up breaking both her legs and her arms, finally she bits him in the leg, and climbs on top of him and tries to give a speech to the audience, who gets pissed, so they cheer on John, and he rolls over Fiona, flattening her. 2 - Christopher Walken vs. Gary Oldman Christopher was very careful not to mess up his hair, but when Gary touches it, Christopher gets pissed and breaks Gary's head between his hands. (Nick returns after this fight) 3 - Garth Brooks vs. Marilyn Manson Garth hypnotizes Marilyn and starts punching him, but Marilyn snaps out off the coma, and grabs

Presented by Big Bull Beer

1. Aretha Franklin vs. Barbra Streisand 2. Bill Gates vs. Michael Flatley 3. Jack Nicholson vs. Leonardo DiCaprio Fight Summary: 1 - Aretha Franklin vs. Barbra Streisand Aretha and Barbra fought for the title of The World's Deadliest Diva. They had to use medieval weaponry like swords, catapults, axes and such. They fought evenly for a while, until Barbra shoots off one of Aretha's arms with a catapult, a photographer takes a photo of Barbra and she gets distracted and starts yelling at the guy... Aretha sees her chance and throws a plague diseased rat into a water bucket, Barbra drinks it and melts away. 2 - Bill Gates vs. Michael Flatley This fight was sort of a mystery since the fighters didnt have any argues with each other, it turned out to be a computer error that led to the fight. Michael had the upper hand for a while, hypnotizing Bill with a dance and such until Bill Gates brought in a robot, that started to kick Michael's ass, and finally the robot threw Michael Fla

The Missing Girl

1. Puff Daddy vs. Trent Reznor 2. David Hasselhoff vs. John Tesh 3. Bruce Willis & Demi Moore vs. Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman Fight Summary: 1 - Puff Daddy vs. Trent Reznor I wouldn't say that any of the fighters lost, because first, Puff Daddy threw som old records which tore Trent Reznor apart, but Trent shot his nine inch nails from his hands, and this tore Puff Daddy apart, but Mills puzzled both fighters together again, well, he made some mistakes, so they got two mixed fighters (like Puff Daddy's arm, Trent Reznor's leg and so on) 2 - David Hasselhoff vs. John Tesh John Tesh unfolded an umbrella inside David Hasselhoff's mouth, Hasselhoff pulled the umbrella out, but it ripped his face off. However Hasselhoff got some help from the car from Knight Rider, and it jumps into the arena and crushes John Tesh. But appearantly, John Tesh didn't die, he appears in several episodes later. 3 - Bruce Willis & Demi Moore vs. Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman After the four fighters climbed eac

Fandemonium I

1. Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin 2. Chris Rock vs. Adam Sandler 3. Jenny McCarthy vs. Carmen Electra This was the first Celebrity Deathmatch fandemonium. I think you were able to vote for which fights you wanted to see on the MTV cdm page. Fight Summary: 1 - Vince McMahon vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin Stone Cold used a tombstone to smash Vince McMahon unconcsious, then he smashed his body into pieces, put the pieces into a coffin, and dragged it out of the arena. 2 - Chris Rock vs. Adam Sandler The two fighters were first unwanting to fight and pretended to lose etc. until Mills started ""the fan of fandemonium"", which was a giantic fan that lowered above the arena until they were sliced up. So Adam and Chris started fighting and it ended with Chris lifting up Adam and throwing him on the switch to the fan, electrocuting Adam Sandler, but also unabled the fan to be turned off, so the fan sliced up Chris Rock and no one was the winner. 3 - Jenny McCarthy vs. Carmen Electra Howar

Battle of the Bulls

1. David Spade vs. Steven Seagal 2. Prince Charles vs. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince 3. Michael Jordan vs. Dennis Rodman Fight Summary: 1 - David Spade vs. Steven Seagal Steven Seagal is was superior to David at first, and he beats him up real good, but then he throws David out of the ring. The waistband in David Spade's pants breaks, and David borrows a Superbowl ring from Scottie Pippen who watched the fight, David uses the ring and the waistband as a slingshot, and shoots the ring through Steven Seagal's head. 2 - Prince Charles vs. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince The Prince and the Artist fight for a while, then Queen Elizabeth throws her crown into the ring, and it hits the Artist in his arm, then the Prince knights the Artist with a blow to the head, that actually knocks the head into the Artist's body. The Prince formerly known as Charles is the winner. 3 - Michael Jordan vs. Dennis Rodman Michael Jordan grabs a basket ball and jams it into Rodman's mouth, then h

37th Annual Sci-Fi Fight Night

1. Celine Dion vs. Prodigy's Keith Flint 2. Nick Diamond vs. The Alien 3. David Duchovny & Gillian Anderson vs. Will Smith & Tommy Lee This was the first sci-fi episode. Fight Summary: 1 - Celine Dion vs. Keith Flint It began with Celine Dion singing the national anthem, but Keith Flint suddenly stormed in and knocked down Celine with a chair, however she recovered fast, and after some kicks and punches, she rips Keith's head off and swallows it, after that she reveals that she is actually an alien, then she possesses the body of Don King. 2 - Nick Diamond vs. The Alien After the first fight, there was a short ""Celebrity Deathmatch Mega Mix"", showing clips from previous fights, then there would be a Sci Fi Q/A featuring Peter Mattheu and Mark Hamill. An audience member asked Peter is he could do the ""Chewie grunt"" from Star Wars, Peter improvises and makes a noise, and then the alien (Celine Dion) gets really pissed and jumps into the arena and kills both Peter and Mark. Afte

Masters of the Martial Arts

It's the season's ending episode! The fights are Kelsey Grammer vs. Roseanne, Brandy vs. Courtney Love, and then Jackie Chan vs. Jean-Claude Van Damme with Chuck Norris as a guest referee! Kelsey Grammer vs. Roseanne In the end of this fight, Roseanne pins Kelsey under herself, so he crawls out of his skin to get out! She sees him without his skin, has a heart attack and dies. Kelsey picks up his skin and leaves as the winner! > Note that the fight took a little longer than expected, since Roseanne pins Kelsey Grammer at the end of the first fight, and then they just sit there, until Mills gets pissed and he gives Kelsey 5 minutes to get out (just before the second fight), after the second fight Kelsey slips out off his skin and then gives Roseanne a heart attack. Brandy vs. Courtney Love Courtney wanted the part for 'Cinderella', so now she's taking Brandy to the Deathmatch. She starts Brandy around, but Brandy doesn't want to fight! She gives Love a bear cub, and it touches